I was asked 'if we don't trust our boss – is it possible to delegate to them?' After thinking about this, three thoughts come to mind for me about that level of trust.
1st Thought
What is it about the relationship that you have with your boss that's creating that distrust? It could simply be that you haven't worked together for long enough. Maybe you're new in the role. Maybe they're new in the role and you haven't got to know each other. This means there's a little bit of distress going on and you're still working it out. In this case how do you build that relationship, and build that trust?
I talk about this in my book, Connecting Us, and the importance of awareness. We need to know who we are, and we need to discover more about the people we work with, both our team and our boss. The more we can build that awareness, of us and of others, the more we can build trust.
If you're new in the role or they're new in the role, then it's a focus on building that trust, putting your toe in the water and asking “how can I build this relationship so that when I need to, I can delegate to them?”
2nd Thought
Maybe they actually have done something that has totally destroyed that trust with you. If you've worked together for a long time and something cataclysmic happened and you're totally distrusting this person now then that it is very difficult to overcome and feel you can delegate up.
If this is the case, I want to check: are you in a safe place? Is this a role that you can thrive in and really look after yourself? If you are in a position where you're coming to work every day, whether virtually or into an office, and you're experiencing significant amounts of stress because of this distrust, then that is a huge issue.
What are you doing to make sure you build resilience? What support are you getting? Who do you have in the organisation that you can safely talk to, and share those concerns? And how might you go about rebuilding trust with your boss?
3rd Thought
Maybe you have completely different operating styles, different ways of doing the world and you haven't worked out how to communicate together. Imagine that you're a big picture thinker and you're working with someone who's very detailed. This could feel like you're being micromanaged. Consider the level of detail this person is looking for.
Again, this is about awareness to know the different styles you have. When we have that mismatch, we're not communicating at the levels that we could. Focus on how to build that understanding of each other.
If you have a distrusting relationship do any of these resonate with you?