The one critical element you need to communicate well and build team performance

9 out of 10 conversations miss the mark (according to research by Stanford University).
 
Yikes – that sounds alarming.
 
It doesn’t mean that all our conversations fail; they simply are missing the mark. 

For example, there is some misunderstanding between what you say and what the other person understands. Or you misunderstand some elements of what someone else is saying to you.
 
For any thought or instruction you want to express verbally, you will probably only get out a fraction of what you think in spoken words.

Your listener adds their thoughts to your words and makes their meaning.

We speak at about 125-175 words a minute, yet we listen and process at 400 words a minute*. 

So often, those extra words we add to process what someone is saying are not what they mean.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone, maybe you have asked them to do something, and the result was not what you expected?
 
When you check in, you find they are doing something completely different from what you requested. What you said made sense to you. Yet they have added a different meaning to your words.
 
A valuable exercise to create more understanding is to ‘Double-Click’ on some of the words being used and create more of a shared understanding with your listener.
 
Double-Clicking is a reference initially used for ‘pressing a computer mouse twice’ to find and open a folder or document on your computer.

Judith E. Glaser, in her book Conversational Intelligence, used this term to describe a technique that helps people understand and communicate better. For example, Double-Clicking adds to the meaning of what people are saying by asking questions to understand more.

Double Clicking allows you to activate and explore valuable insights, memories and wisdom when conversing.

It also allows you to open up and create more understanding about the words people are saying.

For example, if someone says they want the team to have a successful year, double-clicking on the word ‘success’ helps us understand what they mean. Otherwise, we might interpret success as ‘leaving on time every day’. For them, success might mean ‘meeting our key performance indicators'.

Unless we ask and double-click on their words, we are potentially at risk of massive misunderstanding.

Communicating well and increasing understanding is more than simply asking, ‘Do you understand?’ Because, at a surface level, they do.
 
The other person will likely say, ‘Yes, I understand.’
 
If you delve a little deeper (double-click) and ask them to tell you what they understand, you can check if that matches your meaning.

Double-Clicking is a technique for everyone, and as a manager learning to double-click is critical.
 
It is up to you to develop and hone your management competence.
 
Changing how you operate will shift your team’s way of performing, leading to even more success.

I believe that exceptional teams truly deserve unrivalled business success. That starts with you as their leader :)